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When the nervous system feels safe, it moves out of finding safety to survive (fight, flight, freeze or shutdown - which we will discuss in module 3) and into a state of safety to heal and thrive. 

Staying in a survival state dysregulates the nervous system (that governs ALL bodily functions) and this keeps the body locked in chronic symptoms and syndromes.

The ventral vagal state signals to the body that it’s okay to shift into safety to heal and thrive, allowing systems that have been offline—like metabolism, ovulation, reproduction and digestion—to regulate and function optimally again.

Calm and safety aren’t always the same. You can feel “calm” but still be in a shutdown state where your body is disconnected or numb, which is part of the freeze response (which we will be discussing in module 3).

True ventral vagal safety feels different—it brings a sense of groundedness, connection, and openness. It’s not just the absence of stress but the presence of trust in your body and environment, which allows your system to stay regulated even when challenges arise.

If your system has been wired for protection due to chronic stress or early trauma, it takes time to build trust that safety can last. The body’s priority is survival, so it may pull you back into protective states out of habit. Rewiring this pattern involves consistent micro-moments of safety and connection. Over time, these small experiences accumulate, creating a stronger baseline of safety that your nervous system can return to more easily.

Yes! Building ventral vagal capacity doesn’t require feeling 100% safe all the time. You can cultivate it by noticing even brief moments of warmth, connection, or ease and staying with those sensations for a little longer. Simple practices like orienting to your environment, feeling the ground beneath you, noticing the support of your breath and following your impulse signals safety to your system. Each time you engage in these small practices, you’re expanding your nervous system’s capacity to access ventral vagal safety more easily.

Feeling safe doesn’t mean eliminating all stress or changing your circumstances overnight. It’s about creating micro-moments of safety within the stress—moments where your nervous system gets a signal that, even in the middle of chaos, there’s something steady to anchor to. This might look like:

• Orienting to safety: Taking a few seconds to notice what’s neutral or safe in your environment, like the feeling of your feet on the ground or a familiar object nearby.
• Micro-pauses: Pausing  between tasks to signal to your system that it’s okay to slow down, even briefly.
• Connection cues: Finding small ways to feel connected—whether it’s a quick text exchange with someone supportive or even placing a hand on your heart to create a sense of self-compassion.

It’s possible to cultivate safety in a stressful environment, but unfortunately, it is much harder, and it may take longer. This is because the foundation of nervous system healing is safety.

Our home needs to be a safe haven where our nervous system can settle. This doesn’t mean there can’t be any stress, but if the environment is one of constant stress, it will be very hard. One way it can work is if we manage to create a ‘good enough’ environment—a room that is off-limits to others, for example, or a period of time in the day that is only for you.

If we can create just a little bit of safety in this way, we can do our work in these containers. As we start to heal, we develop better boundaries and greater capacity to deal with stress, which can lead to the overall environment feeling less threatening to our system.

You don’t have to escape your reality to cultivate safety. Building a ventral vagal foundation means learning to hold both—the stress and the safety—without needing to shut down or disconnect. Over time, these small moments accumulate and shift your baseline, giving you more capacity to handle what’s happening without getting stuck in survival mode.